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每天讀點英文幽默故事全集(超值白金版)
《每天讀點英文幽默故事全集》精選535篇令人捧腹的幽默小故事,包括家庭幽默、兩性幽默、天真童趣、名人幽默、職場幽默、醫(yī)患幽默、軍營幽默、校園幽默、宗教幽默、酒吧賓館、律師法庭、警察交通、文字幽默、動物幽默以及綜合幽默等十五章。本書編排采取中英對照的方式,是原汁原味的英文和地道中文的完美結(jié)合,不論是語言表達,還是故事內(nèi)容,都堪稱經(jīng)典。對于故事中的生詞、詞組都逐一作了注釋,使讀者在理解幽默故事的同時,擴大詞匯量。閱讀這本書,體會那些滑稽、詼諧、荒誕、令人捧腹的語言背后耐人尋味的豐富內(nèi)涵,更有助于培養(yǎng)一種樂觀、積極、自信的人生態(tài)度。
★中英對照,文章短小精悍,語言原汁原味,是你雙語學(xué)習(xí)的很好的讀本! ★精彩譯文,讓閱讀中文也是種享受! ★注釋詳盡,所注之意均為文中含義,免去理解上的困惑。 ★經(jīng)典,暢銷,幽默,值得收藏的幽默故事大全集! ★每天堅持讀一點,讓你成為一個會講幽默故事的人!
《每天讀點英文幽默故事全集》具有以下4大特點:
1.選材廣泛,譯作上乘。選材廣泛,囊括了經(jīng)典的英文幽默故事和現(xiàn)代幽默故事,語言地道,是學(xué)習(xí)英語的規(guī)范素材,譯文流暢,是練習(xí)翻譯的優(yōu)質(zhì)范本。 2.中英對照,方便閱讀。為了方便廣大讀者的學(xué)習(xí),采用上下中英對照的方式呈現(xiàn)。 3.板塊清晰,知識豐富。每篇文章分為作家作品介紹、正文、課后注釋三個板塊。既為讀者賞析背誦優(yōu)美英文提供了很好的途經(jīng),又為句式的學(xué)習(xí)、詞匯的積累提供了便利,二者兼?zhèn),不亦樂乎?nbsp; 4.貼心注釋,透徹理解。對文中的難句、生詞以及特殊的文化現(xiàn)象,編者均注以詳細的解釋以引導(dǎo)讀者準(zhǔn)確、透徹地把握思想內(nèi)涵,使讀者能夠流暢地閱讀。 典藏英文全集,365天享受閱讀!
長久以來,英語學(xué)習(xí)一直強調(diào)單詞、句型、語法的習(xí)得,我們學(xué)來的英語嚴(yán)肅、正式,卻有失活潑。在與以英語為母語的人交流時,常常會遭遇尷尬場面:外國朋友風(fēng)趣、幽默地講了一個笑話,我們卻絲毫體會不到其中的笑料,傻傻地坐在那里沒有反應(yīng)。仔細想來,學(xué)習(xí)英語已有數(shù)年之久,單詞認(rèn)得成千上萬,句型更是不在話下,早已爛熟于心,可就是不能理解小小的幽默故事,也體會不到其中的樂趣。因此,小小的幽默故事不容小覷,它融匯了英語國家人民千百年來的智慧,沉淀了這些民族上千年的文化,僅憑一些單詞和句型根本無法理解其中的奧妙、感受其中的笑料。為了幫助英語學(xué)習(xí)者學(xué)習(xí)生活化的語言,理解英語國家人們的幽默、熟知這些國家的文化,我們組織了一批知識及經(jīng)驗豐富的編者編寫了這本《每天讀點英文幽默故事全集》。
本書選材廣泛,囊括了經(jīng)典的英文幽默故事和現(xiàn)代幽默故事,并根據(jù)內(nèi)容將幽默故事歸類:家庭幽默、兩性幽默、天真童趣、名人幽默、職場幽默、醫(yī)患幽默、軍營幽默、校園幽默、宗教幽默、酒吧賓館、律師法庭、警察交通、文字幽默、動物幽默、綜合幽默。這些幽默故事都是編者精挑細選的結(jié)果:有長有短,有難有易,部分幽默故事可以作為英語學(xué)習(xí)者的口語、語音、語調(diào)練習(xí)材料,一些故事還不失詼諧的反映了社會現(xiàn)實,例如Why Is Lawyer Brain so Much More?這篇故事反映了律師在美國人心目中的惡劣形象——嗜血的鯊魚,一聞到血腥味就自動靠過來,借著打官司來賺錢,并且能顛倒是非、混淆黑白、草菅人命,為了賺錢不擇手段。在那些滑稽、詼諧、令人捧腹的語言背后,充滿耐人尋味的豐富內(nèi)涵,閃爍著心靈與智慧的光輝,展示了樂觀、自信、積極的人生態(tài)度,具有一種神奇的力量。同時,為了幫助廣大讀者更好的理解這些幽默故事,所有故事都采用英漢對照的方式,翻譯精彩,在忠實原文的基礎(chǔ)上,將原文的笑料、“包袱”無一遺漏地呈現(xiàn)在讀者眼前;對于故事中的生詞、詞組都逐一作了注釋,使讀者在理解幽默故事的同時,擴大詞匯量,開闊視野,感受不同的文化,讓讀者不僅知其一也知其二,例如Skip to Lose Weight這篇幽默故事中,skip這個單詞多次出現(xiàn),有的指“跳躍”,有的指“略過,省去”,對于skip這個詞的不同理解讓人開懷大笑。讀者通過每天讀點英文幽默故事,不僅可以理解異國的文化及幽默,還可以學(xué)習(xí)生動活潑、富有生活化的語言。 我們真誠地希望《每天讀點英文幽默故事全集》能每天陪伴讀者左右,為英語學(xué)習(xí)者開啟學(xué)習(xí)英語的另一個通道。由于編譯者水平有限,疏漏之處敬請讀者指正。 《每天讀點英文幽默故事全集》編委會 2012年2月
第一部分:兩性幽默
1.Her Hubby Has Kept A Mistress In His Office她老公有小蜜,去攀比吧! 2.Mistresses In Restaurant 當(dāng)老公遇到情人 3.How’s Sex 性生活如何 4.Whose Hubby? 原來不是我老公 5.Running Around With Other Women和別的女人鬼混 6.Who Is His Father?孩子的父親是誰? 7.A Beautiful,Sexy Young Woman一個漂亮性感的年輕女子 8.I don’t Know Her Very Well Yet我和她不熟 9.Husband’s Typist 丈夫的女打字員 10.The Love Affair 風(fēng)流事 11.An English Girl 帶個英國妞回來 12.Wearing Nothing 一絲不掛 13.Would You Remarry? 那你會再婚嗎? 14.Man In The Closet壁櫥里的情夫 15.A Lover 情人 16.He Asked Me First他先向我主動索吻了 17.A Great System浴缸里的太太 18.A Doctor’s Affair With His Nurse醫(yī)生與護士的婚外情 19.The Beautiful Girl? 漂亮女孩? 20.Who Is Her Husband? 誰是她丈夫? 21.Why Were You Watching Me In My Bath? 你為什么偷窺我洗澡? 22.Man In The Fridge躲藏在冰箱里的偷情人 23.Strip Off And Streak老婦裸奔 24.My Wife Was Cheating On Me老婆有外遇 25.Four Floors' Knocking 裸著去開門 26.He Averaged Two Dates A week他平均每周約兩個女人 27.Who Cares 美女借宿 28.Female Fans女影迷們 29.Kiss Buttock親吻屁股 30.He Isn’t Really Your Dad反正他也不是你親生爸爸 31.Baked Beans And Putting 吃豆放屁 32.One Of The Ladies Is My Wife,The Other One Is My Mistress!妻子正與我小蜜在一起 33.Wife’s Bill“美女”的賬單 34.Naked 裸體 35.A Magic Blind Man 盲人聞出情人味 36.I Would Rather Commit Adultery我寧愿犯通奸罪 37.I’ll See To The Rest 我來照管美女 38.Dear,I Like To Do What That Bull Is Doing親愛的,我真想做那頭公牛正在做的事! 39.Husband Was Cheating On Her 當(dāng)丈夫有婚外情...... 40.Your Horse Called 你的“馬”來電話啦 41.I’ve Been Having An Affair With Your Best Friend我和你最好的朋友曖昧上了.... 42.Women 女人,讓我歡喜讓我愁 43.Dancing Party舞會 44.I Am Not Able To Take Care Of Three Wives 三個老婆? 45.You Aren’t My Father你不是我親生爸爸 46.Notes 便條 47.A Pretty Maid 美麗女仆 48.Better Not My Daughter 還好不是我的女兒 49.I Want Her To Go Nuts 我就是要讓她發(fā)瘋 50.My Days Of Fooling Around With College Girls Are Not Over我還能和女大學(xué)生們廝混 51.A Kiss A Meter一米布料一個吻 52.Questions And Answers 巧問妙答 53.Some Conversations On Married Life 婚姻百態(tài) 54.Were Divorced!我們已經(jīng)離婚了 55.Husbands Said 丈夫如是說 56.Facts About Women 難懂女人心 57.The Power Of Your Picture 照片給力 第二部分:家庭幽默 1.HE Walks Everywhere HE Goes 耶穌從不開車 2.Coming With You 父子離家 3.Father And Son 父親和兒子 4.Who’s In Heaven? 誰在天堂? 5.Rejuvenation Pill 返老還童藥片 6.They Won’t Let Me Fart 就是不準(zhǔn)我放屁 7.Pious Wishes 虔誠心愿 8.Big Game Mishap倒霉的雄獅 9.Role Reversal角色轉(zhuǎn)換 10.A Bargain物美價廉 11.Dating Service 交友服務(wù) 12.Perfect Woman 完美女友 13.The Divorce 離婚 14.Till The Last Minute 直至最后一分鐘 15.Men’s Club 男士俱樂部 16.The Best Time 最佳時機 17.Your Son Called 你的兒子打電話來了 18.A Change Of Mind 回心轉(zhuǎn)意 19.That Is My Husband 那是我老公 20.To Be A Sensitive Man做一個敏感的人 21.Your Children And My Children Are Whipping Our Children孩子們在打架 22.A Puzzling Problem 難題 23.But I See Five Donkeys 我看見五頭驢 24.It’s For The Funeral 為葬禮準(zhǔn)備的 25.Endearing Terms 甜言蜜語 26.The Day Off From Work 丈夫休息在家 27.They Just Had Quintuplets你也想生五胞胎? 28.Quick Fix 權(quán)宜之計 29.I Just Lost Two Dollars我只損失兩美元 30.Tightwad 吝嗇鬼 31.Tell Him To Drop Dead!叫他去死! 32.How Many Vice Presidents副主管多著呢 33.He Made His Own Lunch 他自個兒準(zhǔn)備的午飯 34.I Didn’t Do It 我什么也沒做 35.You Forget Again!你又忘了! 36.Fifty/Fifty 五五對半分 37.I Had Him Buried Upside Down!臉朝下葬 38.Flatterer?馬屁精? 39.Very Smelly Feet 你的腳真臭 40.A Nice Stone 上好的墓碑 41.Thirty Years Younger Than Me 比我年輕30歲 42.What Are You Going To Do This Evening? 你今天晚上要干什么去? 43.It Was Too Late為時已晚 44.Still A Bum 混世小子 45.Son Wears Fathers Clothes 子穿父裝 46.The Scholar’s Logic 學(xué)者的邏輯 47.A Letter From Mom 媽媽的來信 48.You Don’t Look Like An Old Lady At All你看起來一點都不像個老婦人 49.The Missing Husband 失蹤的丈夫 50.My Wife Makes All Small Decisions小事老婆說了算 51.Try The Hat試帽子 52.Domestic Thief 家賊 53.The Allergy過敏 54.New Suit新套服 55.If I Was In It 我在里面 56.A Stingy Man小氣鬼 57.A Honeymoon Couple蜜月夫婦 58.Say Goodbye To MotherInLaw 與丈母娘道別 59.That’s One! 吁! 60.One Stringed Instrument單弦樂器 61.It’s Unnecessary To See God With A Present見上帝是沒必要帶禮物 62.A lucky Customer幸運的顧客 63.Cat Hating Husband討厭貓的丈夫 64.Let Him Worry!煩惱給房東! 65.Say Good Bye To Canadian Winter 拜拜了,該死的加拿大冬天 66.My Wife Doesn’t Lay Eggs 我媳婦可不下蛋 67.A Monkey like Husband 丈夫像猴 68.The Perfect Husband完美丈夫 69.Twins雙胞胎 70.A Penny Pincher 守財奴 71.Brave And Brainy 智勇雙全 72.I Don’t Want It Either我也不想要了 73.How will I Find My Ring There? 找戒指 74.The Hard Five Minutes 難忍的五分鐘 75.A Brand New Scale嶄新的體重計 76.The Bum 流浪漢 77.Is The Car Yours? 這車是你的嗎? 78.Nothing to Help 幫倒忙 79.Old Habit 江山易改,本性難移 80.A Few Tips小貼士 81.Don’t Try These Techniques At Home在家時不要嘗試這些技巧 第三部分:天真童趣 1.Two Cents A Glass 兩分一杯 2.Why Do You Let Her Go About Naked?為什么她可以不穿衣服到處亂走? 3.Under The Wagon你爸在哪里? 4.Whose baby is it? 誰的寶寶? 5.A Good Boy 好孩子 6.Drunk老爸喝醉了 7.You Got An F On Sex你的‘性’成績‘不及格’ 8.Excited Remarks 興奮的話 9.Patty Is Dead 派蒂死了 10.Goldfish埋金魚 11.Talking On The Telephone 和上帝通電話 12.God Is Missing 上帝哪兒去了 13.A Moron Is A Moron 傻子就是傻子 14.No Word About Ears 決不提耳朵 15.A Trick To Save Money 攢錢小花招 16.Why Are Some Hairs White? 為什么有白頭發(fā)? 17.They Are Looking For Me 找我呢 18.You Can Be The husband.I Can Be Your Wife你做我老公,我做你老婆 19.Making Others Glad使他人快樂 20.Definitely 屎拉在褲子里啦 21.Jesus Is In The Bathroom耶穌在衛(wèi)生間里 22.The Audience And The Son觀眾和兒子 23.A Useful Lesson帶兒子去喝酒 24.The Young Archer 年輕的弓箭手 25.List Your Sins列出你的過錯 26.One Place Ahead 前進一名 27.The World Is Going To End 世界末日 28.It’s Hard To Tell One From The Other雙胞胎難辨 29.You Are Afraid Of Mamma就怕老媽 30.Have His Cap Back 魔法帽子 31.The Consciousness Of Safety 安全意識 32.Piss And Sing 我想唱歌 33.Arithmetic Lesson算數(shù)作業(yè) 34.The Reason behind It 原來如此 35.Follow One’s Father 效仿老爸 36.A Gentleman 紳士 37.A Holiday from School假期 38.Stupid Orders 愚蠢的命令 39.Violin Lessons小提琴課 40.Letter To The Lord 寫給上帝的信 41.How Do You Get Pregnant Then? 媽,你是怎么懷孕的呢? 42.Mom Put Us To Bed This Way Last Night媽媽昨晚讓我們穿成這樣睡的覺 43.Only One Cake Left 只剩一塊蛋糕了 44.Why Does It Rain On The Road Too? 雨為什么也要下在路上呢? 45.Daddy,You Are Taking All The Good Ones 爸爸,你凈揀好的吃 46.Little John Buys The Bread.小約翰買面包 47.She Wants To Keep Them她想占有它們 48.How You Work Out That Three Lots Of Two Rabbits Is seven 三組兩只兔子加成七只? 49.Where’s My Booger? 我的鼻屎呢? 第四部分:名人幽默 1.Franklin Likes Gambling富蘭克林打賭 2.President Reagon And Republicans里根與共和黨人 3.Clinton Proposed To Hilary克林頓向希拉里求婚 4.President Anderson And the Devil 安德森總統(tǒng)與魔鬼 5.Clinton' Tragedy克林頓的“杯具” 6.If You Graduate from Yale,You Become President耶魯出總統(tǒng) 7.The Queen Almost Gets Back To 1700s 小布什總統(tǒng)的口誤 8.Bathe On Behalf Of Me 替霍夫曼洗澡 9.Tent Stolen 福爾摩斯的帳篷被偷 10.Let My Driver Answer It 愛因斯坦與司機 11.Worn Out Overcoat 愛因斯坦的破爛外套 12.OfftheCuff Remarks 丘吉爾的即興妙語 13.Franklin 多才多藝的富蘭克林 14.'The Pope Is Never Wrong' is Not True教皇永無過錯? 15.Robert Scholz ' Hot Soup 肖爾茲要的熱湯 16.Making up Stories 狄更斯編故事 17.Questions For George Bush 向布什總統(tǒng)提問題 18.Madonna,Britney And Christina 麥當(dāng)娜等當(dāng)紅歌星 19.Which Is More Powerful 赫魯曉夫更臭 20.Put Up With Her For Only 15 Minutes 林肯總統(tǒng)的無奈 21.Have No More Room For A Vice President 杰弗遜副總統(tǒng)沒有客房住 22.Neither Am I The Vice President奧巴馬不適做副總統(tǒng) 23.Clone Another Cheney 克隆一個副總統(tǒng)切尼 24.I Am A Sacrifice To The Terrible Epidemic Now 小布什總統(tǒng)嘴巴染上了口蹄疫 25.It Is A Shoe Size 10 小布什遭鞋襲 26.Wall Street Drank Too Much And Had A Hangover 布什:“華爾街喝高了” 27.Only Child Was Born There 華盛頓:“這里只有一個嬰兒出生” 28.Rescue Clinton In The River克林頓河中獲救 29.The Pope Himself Drives教皇本人親自開車 30.One Way Street Wilson 我行我素的威爾遜 31.Candidates In The Air空中的總統(tǒng)候選人 32.What Did He Eat? 牛頓“吃飯” 33.A Story Of Jimmy Durante 杜蘭特的單口相聲 34.The General Theory Of Relativity愛因斯坦的相對論 35.Change Is Coming奧巴馬:改變終會來臨 36.A Strange Creature達爾文:奇怪的生物 37.Is the General Expecting You? 將軍在等你嗎? 38.Fred Allen The Foremost Humorist 弗雷德?艾倫,一位優(yōu)秀的幽默家 第五部分:職場幽默 1.Business Just Started事業(yè)剛起步 2.Pink Suit Sale 粉紅外套賣出去了 3.Ask For A Job With The Circus 馬戲團的工作 4.The Generous Bosses 對我姐姐慷慨的老板 5.In Three Months' Time 三個月后再來干 6.Make Him A Conductor讓他當(dāng)樂隊指揮 7.Hair Cutting 理發(fā) 8.Something Cheaper? 更便宜的 9.The Eager Beaver 工作狂 10.Editor’s Reply 編輯的答復(fù) 11.Volunteer Firemen志愿消防員 12.Encore!!返場 13.Parking A Car In A Bank 富翁停車 14.Job Interview 面試回答 15.Five Hundred Times 寫上五百遍吧 16.A Real Estate Salesman推銷房子 17.The Perplexed Clerk 困惑的店員 18.What If...如果…咋辦? 19.Are Blind Pilots Flying? 盲人飛行員? 20.To Have His Hair Cut During Working Hours上班時間去理發(fā) 21.Musical Interlude 音樂插曲 22.An Amazing Salesman 不可思議的銷售員 23.That’s Your Worry 那是你的事 24.Prepare Three Envelopes 錦囊妙計 25.In Prison VS.At Work 監(jiān)獄與單位 26.Someone’s Deodorant Isnt Working誰的除臭劑不管用了? 27.The Correct Answer 最接近正確答案 28.Don’t Eat A Person Who Is Working 別吃干活的人 29.A1 Laundry頂級洗衣店 30.I Haven’t Got A Penny 身無分文 31.It’s An Extra另行收費 32.No Nuisance 省去麻煩 33.Post Haste 緊急郵遞 34.That Smells Like Shit聞著像大便啊! 35.They Are Still Damp!床單還潮著哩! 36.A Wise Mans Advice 金玉良言 37.I Have Done It!我成功了! 38.I Am Not Stupid 我又不傻 39.Genuine Alligator Shoes真正的鱷魚皮鞋 40.Nonconformist 另類分子 41.Please,Please Drop It!求求你,請放下它! 42.Successfully Or Unsuccessfully 勝任還是不勝任 43.The Wise Manager 聰明的經(jīng)理 44.Did That Take You An Hour? 這花了你一個小時? 45.Wrong Number撥錯號了 46.Anything Works? 什么有用? 47.Worst Waiter Of The Year年度最爛服務(wù)員 48.Is There Another Door? 還有其它門嗎? 49.How To Answer? 如何回答? 50.Told You So告訴過你了 51.Who’s The Foreman 到底誰才是領(lǐng)班 52.Two Candidates For Political Office兩個政府職務(wù)候選人 53.Reasons To Stay At Work All Night 成宿加班的理由 第六部分:醫(yī)患幽默 1.Problem With Gas 醫(yī)治放屁 2.The Warm Hearted Nurse 熱心的護士 3.The Patient Suffered A Severe Relapse病情再度惡化 4.A Phone Call Of A Patient 一位病人的來電 5.Brain Transplant 大腦移植 6.Extract Wisdom Teeth 拔掉智齒 7.Psychiatrist精神病醫(yī)生 8.Mental Deficiency診斷智力缺陷 9.Your Tongue Needs A Rest舌頭也要休息好 10.Mary’s Heroic Act 患者救他人 11.Doctor’s Advice 醫(yī)生的藥方 12.Get The Cat Out First 先把貓弄出來 13.How Many Can Be Discharged 多少人能出院 14.A Brand New Brain 全新大腦 15.No Need To See A Doctor不必求醫(yī) 16.A Man With Two Badly Burned Ears一個兩只耳朵嚴(yán)重?zé)齻哪腥?nbsp; 17.Expectant Fathers 準(zhǔn)爸爸們 18.Use A Pencil 用鉛筆吧! 19.You’re Going To Die!你快死啦! 20.Dead Men Do Bleed!死人真的流血呀! 21.Crazy But Not Stupid 瘋狂但不愚蠢 22.God Will Pay The Bill 上帝付藥費 23.Six Months To Live 最后六個月的時光 24.Surgeons 外科醫(yī)生 25.Confusion 思維混亂 26.Diet At Lunchtime 午餐節(jié)食 27.The Face Lift整容 28.Is She Pregnant? 六十三歲老太婆懷孕? 29.We’d Better Perform A Caesarean還是剖腹產(chǎn)吧 30.That Is All She Needs這就是你太太所需要的...... 31.It’s Rather Personal 這太隱私了 32.Belly Button 肚臍 33.You Must Be An Expert你一定是位專家! 34.A Newly Qualified Doctor一名新醫(yī)生 35.A Reason To Live For 活著的理由 36.What The Heck Is Wrong With My Wife?我太太究竟怎么了 37.Poisonous Or Not 中毒沒有 38.I’m Watching“ER”我正看《急診室》哩! 39.Who Is The Patient? 誰是病人? 40.What Are You Doing By The Surgical Instruments? 你在手術(shù)器械旁邊干什么 41.I’m An Obstetrician 我是個產(chǎn)科醫(yī)生 42.I’ve Changed My Will Three Times!我的遺囑已經(jīng)修改三次了 43.On The Operating Table Awaiting Surgery在手術(shù)臺上等待接受手術(shù) 第七部分:軍營幽默 1.Punishment 懲罰 2.A Colonel On A Tour Of Inspection 上校視察 3.Protect Himself 保護自己 4.Woman Army Driver And Sergeant女司機與中士 5.Cover The Shadow With Sand 用沙子遮住影子 6.What’s Your Name? 你叫什么名字,士兵? 7.The Guard and The Smuggler哨兵查走私 8.Captain And His Sister 上尉的“妹妹” 9.I Missed Again 總是脫靶 10.Take his Weapon away from Him 奪走武器 11.That Officer Was Not Popular 該死的長官 12.A Soldier Asked For Marriage小兵請婚嫁 13.Two Soldiers兩個士兵 14.Report To The Commander馬上去見司令官 15.A Sergeant And A Dope 中士和蠢貨 16.Midshipman Sleeps In Class 軍校生上課睡覺 17.Two Sailors And A Baby兩名水兵和一個娃娃 18.Go Away From The Battle逃兵 19.Officer,My Wife Is Getting Pregnant This Weekend長官,我妻子這周末準(zhǔn)備懷孕 第八部分:校園幽默 1.Unavoidable Tricks 惡作劇 2.What Do They Laugh For? 他們在笑些什么 3.Sleep Over Lectures課上睡覺 4.We Are Here!我們來了! 5.Professor’s Logic 教授邏輯 6.Who Killed Abraham Lincoln 誰暗殺了林肯 7.A Boy’s ABC’s 男孩的基本情況 8.Part Time Job 學(xué)生兼職工作 9.Knock It Off,You Idiot!白癡,別敲了! 10.Plagiarism論文抄襲 11.A Girl’s Examination美女參加考試 12.Classmates Play Tricks On Each Other捉弄學(xué)友 13.Kidding不是在開玩笑吧? 14.A Skeleton Smoking 骷髏吸煙 15.A Naughty Student 淘氣的學(xué)生 16.Copy The Notes 抄筆記 17.Cheating On Test考試作弊 18.Whiskey Does You Good威士忌有助身體健康 19.I Am The Goalie我是守門員! 20.Freshmen Versus Seniors 新生和老生 21.Student’s Reaction學(xué)生的反應(yīng) 22.A Lesson On The Blood Circulation血液循環(huán)的課 23.You Are Stupid 你太愚蠢了 24.How To Clean The Mirror In The Toilet如何清洗衛(wèi)生間的鏡子 25.I Get A Zero On This Exam?本次考試我得零分? 26.A History Teacher and His Questions歷史老師提的問題 27.Who’s The First Man 誰是世界上第一個人 28.Engineering VS.English Majors 工科學(xué)生與英專學(xué)生 29.Two Students Missing An Exam補考 30.An Unexpected Answer 意料之外的回答 31.Why Are You Laughing? 孩子們,你們笑什么? 32.Napoleon Was Ill 拿破侖生病了 33.How Much For A Season Pass? 辦一個季度通行證要多少錢? 34.A Tough Teacher強悍的老師 35.An English Name起一個英文名字 36.Lecturing On Map Reading講解如何看地圖 第九部分:宗教幽默 1.Donate To Remodel The Church 捐款修建教堂 2.Blonde Sister 金發(fā)修女 3.Adultery通奸罪 4.The Young Priest 年輕牧師 5.The Cabdriver And The Preacher 出租車司機與傳教士 6.My God我的上帝 7.Sleep During The Sermon 布道時打瞌睡 8.The Country Parson 鄉(xiāng)村傳教士 9.A Sin About Lying 說謊之惡 10.Praise God!感謝上帝! 11.A Problem With Dentures 牧師的假牙 12.A True Confession!誠實懺悔 13.Jesus“Saves” 耶穌“救人” 14.Complain Too Much牢騷太多 15.Selling At church Bazaar 教堂的義賣市場 16.The Archbishop Is Your Father大主教才是你的父親 17.Black Eyed Buddy 唱圣歌的時挨打的君子 18.The Minister Helps The Man To Lose Weight神父助人減肥 19.The Parishioners And The Local Beauty Queen教民們窺看美女的.... 20.Three Good Leads 牧師提供的偷情線索 21.God Got Mad上帝抓狂了 22.Do You Know What I Am Going To Preach Today? 知道我今天布道講什么嗎? 23.HE Didn’t Recognize You 上帝沒認(rèn)出你 24.My Dog Ate My Sermon狗吃掉了我的布道稿 25.A Nun At A Bar 修女也沾酒 26.A Better Offer 許了更好的愿 27.Church Talk 教堂語言 28.Soap And Water 肥皂、水與狗 29.Praying Before Meal飯前禱告 30.An Atheist 無神論者 31.Causes Of Arthritis關(guān)節(jié)炎起因 32.Mexican Food 墨西哥食物 33.A Screen Saver 都是屏保惹的禍 34.A Nun In The Costume Of Halloween 冒牌修女 35.Thanks To God感謝上帝 36.HE Wants To Talk With You 上帝要跟你聊聊 37.Between Church And State 政教之間 38.Money,Children And Sex 金錢,孩子和性 39.Some Twist 出乎牧師的意料 第十部分:酒吧賓館 1.We Are Going To The Sun At Night 我們夜晚去太陽上面 2.A Sad Story悲慘故事 3.Would You Like A Shave Or A Haircut? 要刮胡子還是理頭? 4.You Drink My poison......你還喝了我的毒藥…… 5.Nail Or Fly 釘子還是蠅子? 6.A Perfectly Calm Guest 一個相當(dāng)鎮(zhèn)定的房客 7.A Clean Glass 干凈的杯子 8.Get Rid Of Wine 戒酒 9.A Drunken Man 一個醉鬼 10.I Want To Get Out 我要出去 11.Go Ice Fishing In The Ice Rink 冰場釣魚 12.What’s The Problem? 怎么回事? 13.You Are The No.8 魚兒上鉤 14.Enough Or Drunk 喝夠還是喝醉 15.Crawl To His Home 爬回家去 16.Photo 老婆的照片 17.I Can Bite My Eye 我能咬到自己的眼睛 18.A Bet In A Bar 酒吧打賭 19.Golden Saloon金色酒吧 20.Gay Family 同性戀家 21.Give Me My Change 快點找錢 22.Twins Are drunk At A Pub 雙胞胎醉酒 23.Whisky Expert 品酒專家 24.Learn To Be More Polite 有禮貌點? 25.The Fearless One無畏之人 26.Two Befuddled Visitors 兩位糊涂旅客 27.My First Day With The Hook第一次用鉤子手 28.Very Large Toilet巨大的馬桶 29.Wait and See 等著瞧 30.Free Dessert 免費甜點 31.Bring Me Another Martini!再給我拿一杯馬提尼酒來! 32.Expensive Crackers 昂貴的餅干 33.The Other Half另一半 34.She Knows McDonalds Only 她只知道麥當(dāng)勞 35.We’re Out Of Buns面包圈沒有了 第十一部分:律師法庭 1.An old Negro 老黑頭 2.Man Is Mistaken As A Bear 把人誤當(dāng)為熊 3.Perfect Contradiction 絕佳反擊 4.And More Stupid 蠢上加蠢 5.Two More Words 再說兩句 6.Win The Case 打贏官司 7.A Box Of Cigars 送雪茄給法官 8.What Will You Take?你想要什么? 9.Stealing Overcoat 偷大衣 10.One Side Of The Case 只聽一面之辭 11.How to win the case 如何打贏官司 12.The Will 遺囑趣事 13.One Less Lawyer 又少了一個律師 14.Free Advice? 免費咨詢? 15.Why Is Lawyer Brain So Much More? 律師腦貴 16.A Check Given To A Dead 亡靈支票 17.Honest?你誠實嗎? 18.Who Is Responsible?誰的責(zé)任 19.Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife? 你停止打你老婆了嗎? 20.A Can Of Peas 還偷了一罐豌豆 21.A Divorce Lawyer 離婚律師 22.The Court Procedures法庭程序 23.The Jury Is To Convene In The Guilty Room陪審團到有罪室開會 24.Jesus Christ Is My Counselor And Defender耶穌基督就是我的辯護人和保護人 25.Sentenced To Death By Hanging Over The Cliff 在懸崖上執(zhí)行絞刑 第十二部分:警察交通 1.Traffic lights 交通燈 2.The Motorcycler 騎摩托車的人 3.Tickets 罰單 4.Confusion In Compartment 車廂內(nèi)的騷動 5.First Class Section 蹭頭等艙 6.The Designated Decoy 引警察上鉤 7.First Ride 第一次巡邏 8.A Good Solution好辦法 9.Where Is My Rolex 我的勞力士呢? 10.A Bad Impression不良印象 11.A Good Lesson難忘的教訓(xùn) 12.A Flattered Man 受寵若驚 13.In The Directory 在電話簿里 14.Driving A Funeral Van 開殯葬車 15.A Test For Drunk Driving 醉酒駕車檢測 16.A Good Excuse 絕佳借口 17.A Business Trip 出差 18.You Are Not The Flight Instructor? 上錯飛機 19.But,officer,I......可是,警官,我...... 20.The Drivers Wife 司機老婆 21.A Patient Mother 耐心的媽媽 22.Don’t Be Frightened!別害怕! 23.The Police Chase 警察的追捕 24.Are You Feeling Better Now? 現(xiàn)在感覺好些了嗎? 25.The Worried Farmer 憂愁的農(nóng)夫 26.How Do You Stop This Car?你是怎么停車的? 27.Where Am I我在哪兒呢 28.Back Home In A Police Car 警車送回家 29.Magic Words 神奇密語 30.How To Get The Different People To Jump Overboard 因人制宜 31.Rush For The Ticket 買票狂人 32.A Bank Stickup搶銀行 33.Highway Patrol And Math Teacher高速公路巡警與數(shù)學(xué)老師 34.A New Recruit新來的警員 35.A Psychic Suspect 通靈的嫌疑犯 36.Finally Know Why I Never Made Detective我終于明白我為什么沒當(dāng)上探長了 37.Caught Speeding 超速被抓后 38.Bank Bankruptcy 銀行破產(chǎn) 第十三部分:文字幽默 1.I Did Not See The Word NOT我沒看見“不”字 2.How Old Are You?您多大了? 3.I Don’t Like That我不喜歡聽那種話 4.Keys? Kiss? 是鑰匙還是親吻? 5.The Sign Is No Need 不必掛牌 6.Skip To Lose Weight 跳躍減肥 7.The Idiot Gave The Babies Names 白癡起名 8.An Elephant And A Lady 大象和女士 9.The Pot Which Has Had a Baby 會生小罐子的罐子 10.Ditto同上 11.Do Not Disturb 請勿打擾 12.That’s Not What I Meant我不是那個意思 13.He Changes His Names改名字 14.Not For Sale 非廉價出售 15.Changing Letter 多變的字母 16.I,You And She 遣詞造句 17.Class,Lass And Ass 班級,情婦和蠢驢 18.Cow=Bullfight? 奶牛=斗牛? 19.Chinese English 中式發(fā)音 20.What’s The English For This這個用英語怎么說 21.Complicated Name 復(fù)雜的名字 22.One’Way Street單行道 23.Coldwater 涼水 24.He Missed One letter少寫了一個字母 25.Mr.D.And Mr.N.兩個傻帽 26.The Greeks Did希臘人遇到麻煩了 27.False Advertising 虛假廣告 28.The Post Office Box 郵政信箱 29.Mr.Knott and Mr.Watt 布先生和沈麻先生 30.You’re The Man Who Needs A Shower 你就是那個要淋浴的 31.With Deepest Sympathy 致以深深的吊唁...... 32.Translation Not Found 未能找到譯文 33.Cheap But Good 價廉物美 34.Moving Target活動靶子 35.Miracle From Practices 反復(fù)練習(xí)出奇跡 36.A Singular Justification 一面之詞 37.Synonym = Bad language同義詞就是罵人的話 38.A Panda Walks into a Bar 熊貓進酒吧 39.Bank 河岸?銀行? 40.Catch My Eye 令我著迷 41.Women’s Language Translate 女人的話 42.Socks 男人們的襪子 43.My Broken Shoes? 我的破鞋? 44.The W.C.Story 衛(wèi)生間(W.C.)趣事 45.Do It Now 現(xiàn)在就做 46.Killer,Get Him!殺手,咬他! 47.I Want To Be A.....我想做一名...... 48.Glossary 如此釋義 49.Would And Wood愿意與木頭 50.One Month Overdue 一個月沒來 51.Proxy Fathers 代理父親 第十四部分:動物幽默 1.The Dog Doesn’t Know狗不知道 2.Clever Dog 聰明的狗 3.Dog Temperament 狗的性情 4.Whose Dog Was The Smartest 誰的狗最聰明 5.Shut Up,You Idiot 閉嘴,你這白癡 6.The Way To Chase Away Chickens把雞趕走的方法 7.Processing Color Film 洗彩色照片 8.What Did The Chicken Do? 那只雞犯了什么錯? 9.Who Is It?!誰呀?! 10.Beware Of Dog!當(dāng)心有狗! 11.Elephant VS Ants Soccer Game 大象對螞蟻的足球賽 12.Mr.Bear And Mr.Rabbit 熊先生和兔先生 13.The Centipede Puts On Its Shoes 蜈蚣穿鞋 14.A Drunken Cab 螃蟹喝醉 15.You Know That你知道我要說什么 16.An Intelligent Dog 精明的狗 17.The Rabbit’s Trick 兔子的詭計 18.Get the Umbrella 小烏龜取傘 19.The Spider Goes Deaf 蜘蛛變聾 20.Cat And Mouse 貓和老鼠 21.Blind Bunny瞎眼的兔子 22.Doggie Contest 狗狗們的競賽 23.A Bilingual Dog 會說兩門語言的狗 24.Whose Dog Is This 誰的狗 25.A False Friend 虛假的朋友 26.Mousetrap And Mouse Picture捕鼠器與老鼠照片 27.You Believe A Donkey ? 相信驢的話 28.Then Where Is My Cat? 那我的貓去哪兒了? 29.Ambitious Dog Mother 望子成龍的母狗 30.Male Pigeons Always Eat Female Worms,Female Pigeons 雄鴿總是吃母蟲,而雌鴿...... 31.Catty Cat 陰險的貓 第十五部分:綜合幽默 1.A Fishy Story釣魚故事 2.I’m A Grandfather!我當(dāng)爺爺了! 3.Two Smart Blind Men兩個聰明的盲人 4.A Boring Man 無聊之人 5.I Want The Bastard That Pushed Me In 誰在搗鬼 6.Sperm Bank 精子銀行遭劫 7.Water Or Wine? 水還是紅酒? 8.Extend The Life Of Fans 為電扇延壽 9.The Watermelon 西瓜 10.I Am Lucky 我很幸運 11.Placing Stamps On A Letter 給信封貼郵票 12.How Did You Know He Was A Bandit? 你怎么知道他是個強盜? 13.An Englishman And A French Barber 英國人和法國理發(fā)師 14.It Is Me 那是我 15.Who Is Shakespeare 莎士比亞是誰 16.Birthday Rose 生日玫瑰 17.Gave It A Drink 喝茶 18.She Wouldn’t Jump A Second Time 她不會跳第二次 19.This Hole In The Ground 地上的洞 20.Dropped A Piece Of Candy掉了一小塊糖 21.Special Kiss 特殊的親吻 22.The Deaf Collector 聾子收錢 23.Smoker 吸煙的女士 24.I Am Acting Like A Lady 表現(xiàn)得像女士 25.I’m Calling To Report My Neighbor 檢舉揭發(fā) 26.Pay For The Mother 為“媽”埋單 27.Grass Eater 吃草的人 28.A Trick Does Long Way 一招解決大問題 29.The Servants Ruse仆人的詭計 30.City Fellow 城里人 30.City Fellow 城里人 32.I Am Not Afraid Of You 我可不怕你們 33.Some People Will Never Learn 有些人永遠也不肯接受教訓(xùn) 34.Eat,Coat!大衣,你吃吧! 35.Don’t Let Him In 別讓他進來 36.Why Don’t We Find That Woman? 我們?yōu)槭裁床徽业侥莻女人? 37.The Snow On The Path 小路上的雪 38.A Funnier Joke我這個更有趣 39.The Man and the Chair 兩個男人搶椅子 40.Small Frying Pan 煎鍋太小 41.That Man Knows The Future 能預(yù)知未來的人 42.Don’t Forget To Look To The Right 別忘了向右看 43.We Didn’t Step On It 還好沒踩到 44.The Discovery探索發(fā)現(xiàn) 45.One Egg Less少了一個 46.Who Should Change? 誰該換? 47.A Burglar Can’t Find Me Either賊也找不到我 48.Queue Jump 插隊 49.Pick Out Your Husband.挑出你丈夫 50.I Can Turn Him Off Whenever I Please我可以隨意把他給關(guān)掉 51.That’s My Husband我的丈夫在車?yán)?nbsp; 52.Good Marksmanship 好槍法 53.Who Should Take It 這藥該誰吃 54.Try On Clothes 試衣服 55.Pushed The Wrong Button按錯了按鈕 56.Can You Tell Me Where We Are? 您可以告訴我這是什么地方嗎 57.Not A Good Excuse 不是個好借口 58.Im An Undertaker 我是殯儀館的 59.Good Morning,Garden Cemetery早上好,這里是花園墓地 60.Which Is Which? 雌雄難辨 61.Get Out Of Here! 你給我滾出去! 62.Hi Hi Hi Hi It!Whi Whi Whi Whi End? 打打打打呀!哪哪哪哪頭啊? 63.Not Want to be an Artist 不想當(dāng)畫家
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